Happy to be alive -

We were out as a family for Luke's dinner last night.  I was watching this little boy - maybe a year old gleefully laughing with a french fry in his hand.  I asked the parents if it was his first time eating a french fry and they said no.  I was so inspired by this little boy that it got me thinking.  I should, we should, be THAT happy to just be alive each day.  I know too many friends and strangers that face each day literally having to fight just to stay here another day.  Whether it be from disease, starvation, or circumstance.
We should be absolutely excited to have another day we didn't have to fight for.  A gift we didn't even have to ask for.  That is the goal for me today, for 2012, and for the rest of my life.

Lights and a Big Red Bow

Christmas is completely upon us now.  I have been watching the neighbors adding lights and decorations to their homes this week.  Our next door neighbors have had a Christmas light display that is quite fabulous for the last several years. (There is even music if you roll down your window.)  We are more than happy to be the official turnaround point after people have taken in the show.  Each year recently our outdoor display has consisted of the view of our tree from the front window and a giant red bow on the front door that is in honor of my mother.  As I have watched each home become lit up this week, I have felt the need to be a little more festive.  Luckily my friend had a couple long strings of colored lights that she was giving up for adoption,  and I took the time.  Not because I felt a competition with the other houses, but because there was a spirit I felt of celebration and childlike joy when I see the other displays that I wanted at our house.  There is just something that makes me smile when I drive around at night and see beautiful lights from house to house that creates an unspoken camaraderie between people who are strangers to one another.  It is a sign of the fact that people feel hope.  Without hope there is no need to celebrate.  And there is nothing more worthy of celebration than the birth of our Savior who came into the world "To bring light to those that sit in darkness..."

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What would be in my picture?

There is a new website I have discovered that just fascinates me  .http://theburninghouse.com/  I'm thinking it will have me pondering much this week. It is a photo blog of people all over the world answering one question.  "If your house was on fire - what would you take with you?"   People gather all the things they would take and photograph them in one picture and post the picture and the list on the blog.
 I would of course take all the kids and the husband.  We only have one cat now and she would probably have been out of the house before there was even smoke because she is one of those specially trained bomb sniffing kind of cats.  I don't know that I could fit all the baby books/photos/family videos in the pic but I would try.  They are all mostly in the armoire that the tv sits on in our bedroom and I have joked that I would just toss the whole piece of furniture out the window to save it all. I have letters written to my grandmother from my grandfather when they were dating - those I would take. Not to mention the letters Tim wrote me while we were dating. Probably grab the laptop since it has pictures and other things I could not replace.  I could replace my scriptures (and I don't mark them alot) so I don't know that I would grab them - its not a desert island kind of situation.  I would grab the cookie jar that belonged to my grandmother.  Nothing else sounds like the lid coming off and on that jar.  I have memories of that sound when I was trying to sneak a cookie : ).
 I will probably be making a mental list all week.  Maybe even do a post to the site.
 I am thinking of asking each of my kids what they would grab - just out of curiosity.

Thinking about the last 10 years...

So much has been going through my head today.  I am so blessed and grateful for my life.  I am thankful for the good health and safety of my family everyday.  I feel sorrow for people and innocence lost on 9/11/01.  Elizabeth was a baby.  Hannah had started kindergarten.  Luke was 2 1/2.  I remember feeling the significance of the moment as I stood there and watched the news footage after Tim had left for work.  I remember the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach as the details took shape.

I have since that day been reminded that hate and love only have more power if we carry them with us.  And you can't carry both at the same time.  If we let the hate that started the events that day inside and carry it with us - then they win.  If we choose to make judgement on other innocent people because they share the same religion that the terrorists took and distorted that day into something evil - they win.  If we choose to carry hate instead of love - they win.  But, if we choose to leave the hate where it started and give it no more power - they lose.

We can remember, and learn from this, and prepare.  But we need to leave the hate where we found it.

Elizabeth and the "Littlest Pet Shop of Horrors"

Elizabeth has dramas that she creates with her Littlest Pet Shop toys. Murder mysteries I think. She actually has scripts I have found with dialogue for the characters and scene descriptions and directions for the actors.
She is trying to find the perfect fake movie blood for her special effects.  She has tried lipstick and ketchup the most.  She even has an old toothbrush labeled "LPS  LS/KET"  for the cleanup.   She has been begging me to let her make the blood recipe with corn syrup.  Maybe when we get back from visiting family in Burns.
Even when she was little (we are talking like 2 or 3) she was fascinated with scary movies.  She would disappear around the corner at the local movie rental store and come back with a dvd of some scary movie and say "look mommy, scaaaree.  Can we get it?"
She has been researching classic scary movie music to use in her movies (Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho to name one) and has since had a renewed need to have someone at home with her at all times, and  asks me each night if I have securely locked up the house.  Gotta hand it to the classics to set the right mood.
I have been telling her and Hannah that they need to team up and do a book someday.  But who knows, maybe they will end up making movies together.

Who knew facing your fears could be so much fun?

In the last 4 years there are a couple things that have happened in my life that have made me appreciate each day a little bit more, cut people a little more slack, and try things I may not have before because they are scary. My family has lucked out because I bring them along for the ride : ). Renewed perspective is such an awesome gift!

The first was the death of my mom too young, (she had just turned 62) and too sudden (we had 6 weeks with her after her diagnosis.)  The second was turning 40.  I have always loved the quote "Don't deny getting older.  Many are denied the privilege."  I have never denied getting older and I am fully aware of the privilege of each day.

I used to think I was afraid of heights.  I have since learned that those fears are much more specific.  I am afraid of falling out of amusement park rides, off of tall buildings, and off of bridges and cliffs (all even worse if I were to land in a large body of water).  I have also discovered that I LOVE to zip-line.  I think part of it is the simplicity of the harness and other equipment that is used.  I trusted it.  

A few years ago I would have never considered trying something like soaring through the air on a metal cable.  But the experience has me asking "what should I try next?".  Tim is trying to convince us all to try out whitewater rafting next year.  Hmmmm - not thinking so - remember the mention above of large bodies of water.   But I was told by a fellow zip-liner that they have some pretty great zip-lining in Kauai.  THAT I could go for.

roadside farmer's market

One of the best things about living here are the fresh fruit and vegies you can buy at the local produce stands.  But I am not ashamed to say that some of the produce I bring home has literally fallen off the truck.  I can not tell you how many beautiful sweet onions have come home with me rescued from various intersections that are near freshly harvested fields.  Today it was sweet corn.  The only downfall was that I could only find 3 ears along the roadside (over about a mile's drive).  That just won't be enough for dinner tomorrow.  Alas, I will have to go buy a few more at one of the stands, which will lead to the purchasing of  even more delectable fresh fruits and vegies.  Fresh produce in my house makes me feel rich.  Over the years Tim and I have gauged how well we are doing financially by how much fresh fruit is in the house : )  Its too bad that tomatoes and watermelon don't do well falling off of trucks.

I see squirrels

I came to the conclusion several years ago that I "flit". I can organize "stuff" and 14 different coupon transactions in my head, but, I get easily distracted when I am trying to get things done. I start with the best intentions and I tend to get a lot of stuff done - just not all in one place and most of it not completed.  I end most days feeling like I have accomplished little because it all looks like it did when I started the day. Not to mention, I live with 4 squirrels that have made it a little more challenging as the years have gone by.
So I am thinking that this is why I am so thrilled that my house "feels" clean today.  The dining room table is clear, there is less than a load of dishes in the sink awaiting transfer to the dishwasher, my laundry baskets are almost empty, I have the important areas dusted, the living room is tidy, my bedroom floor is clean, and ..... I am freshly showered all before noon.  I will savor it while it lasts.

being short one kid

So the last 2 weeks have been a trade off of either Hannah (1st week) or Luke (2nd week) being away at camp.   Hannah spent a great week at girls camp and Luke at his first year of Scout camp.  I am so thankful for all the leaders that take the time away from their own families to do things with my children and enrich their lives.  It is amazing how much quieter the house is when one of them are gone.  Now we are gearing up for August which is our traveling month this summer.  Our family will be going on a vacation to Idaho for a little water park, zip lining, a train ride, and a bbq with family we haven't seen for quite awhile.  We have been invited to the coast for a couple days with friends.  Then a week in Burns to spend with more family with a couple extra boys in tow.  Then a week to get ready for school.  Wow how July has flown.

Garden guilt and garden envy

My garden has suffered this year.  The only things that have grown are the ones that do it voluntarily each year.  Pretty much the chives, strawberries, and raspberries.  Now here is where the guilt comes in.  I haven't even had enough time to properly pick the raspberries - which I LOVE.  When I do go out, I see the ones I didn't save in time and wonder if you can be arrested for garden neglect.   At the same time I drive by some beautiful gardens and have a little envy.  OK a lot of envy. Retired people set the bar pretty high around here. I know what I want my garden to look like in a perfect world, but darn it all the kids and husband insist on eating everyday.  And more than once a day.  Sheesh.  Not to mention clean clothes and paid bills.  I haven't figured out how to spend all day outside and get the inside stuff done at the same time.  I wonder if there is a Nobel prize for that and if so... what category?  I will put it on my to do list.

Cats

I grew up with cats. And when I say cats I don't mean the pampered type that have collars and eat out of dishes in the house. I grew up with a herd of barn cats. Natural selection controlled the population (well, mostly the coyotes). The spring kittens were our adventure each year. First, with the covert military preciseness that my sisters and I would use to track a new momma kitty to her litter. (We could fake baby kitten meowing like nobody's business.) Then with the taming of the wild, spitting, hissing balls of fur once momma was tired of moving them.

Then the summer brought everything from fishing trips up the creek with cats in tow, to biking trips where we figured out how to configure baskets and bungee cords into first class seating on the way to the deep spot in the creek where we would swim. The dogs on the ranch were for working, the cats were for play.

Luckily I married a cat person. We have always had at least one cat since we have been married. We started with Squeaker - the peach point Siamese mix that came with Tim and considered me to be no less than that of the ultimate wicked stepmother.

We are currently down to one cat again - which feels strange. Abby is the last of our original pets that we brought with us when we moved. She showed up on our door - well actually flew in through the front door at our house in Burns one morning. She had been dumped near where we lived several miles from town. She soon became Hannah's constant companion and I am sure in her opinion was responsible for much of Hannah's formative early upbringing.

Now Abby at 14 is suddenly acting like a kitten again. She has developed a new bedtime routine at night now that our other cat is gone. She gets up on the bed (which isn't as easy as it used to be) and gets attention and then lays down for awhile. Then every night right on queue she jumps off the bed and goes to the corner of the room behind our bedroom door and starts to chase her tail. She does this for 10 minutes or so and then eventually jumps back up on the bed to sleep for the night. I don't know why she does it and I am not sure if she knows. But over the years I have learned some of my most important lessons from the animals in my life. I think Abby does it because she can. So I am thinking that I need to remember to do things because I can no matter what my age. And not worry about the 2 people across the room wondering why I am chasing my tail. : )

Love the curls

I have been wanting to start a blog for awhile. I wanted a way to keep a record of the life I love and had not had the greatest results from traditional paper journals. I type, and can be read much easier than my handwriting anyway. I can feel a shift happening in our home. I have a 15, 12 and 10 year old. I am only a few years away from complete teen madness in our house. I am feeling the transition from a house of toddlers to teenagers. (who am I kidding - it will be pretty similar : )

The title of my blog came from my lifelong love/hate relationship with my naturally curly hair. I have noticed that once I started working with it instead of against it I appreciated it more all the time. I have tried to take that same attitude with everything else in my life as well. Even more so since mom passed away in 2006 and I turned 40 in 2010.

With mom's birthday being yesterday I am reminded again of how fragile life is and how blessed I am that it doesn't bother me to get older. I see my mother's hands now when I look at my own. I giggle every time I use the air blade hand dryer at Costco in the bathroom and watch the skin on the back of my hands dance. I am blessed with so many things in my life that could be gone tomorrow. I am hoping to write a little about it on this blog so that on the rough days I can look back and remember how great it is to be curly.